Thoughts, What Is Next

While there has been a vast of wonderful things that have taken place in my life over the past couple of months there are still things in the lingering and weigh heavily upon my mind!  While I have to keep these to myself those who know they relate to are kept in the need to know group!  I keep a lot of me guarded and often times I find myself holding onto my heart and guarding it to ensure it does not get hurt again!

This is one of the hardest parts for me to loosen up on as with anyone who has ever had their heart broken and put on a platter for everyone to view certainly will have a great compassion and understanding of.  I certainly do not want to come across as saying that I am not opening my heart up because that could not be further from the truth.  I just know what I have endured and where I have come from and want to ensure that I never find myself in that position again!  The next time that my lips produce the words "I Love You" will be with the one that I will spend the rest of my life with as I want the type of marriage that my parents shared prior to both of them passing and going to be with the Lord!  That is all I have ever wanted and more than that I want to share my life with someone who has their spiritual roots grounded and their eyes upon the Lord first then family second.

Often times I have been finding myself more and more turning to God for answers that I am not able to figure out.  At this point in my life you would certainly think that I would have that under control, however, it seems there is still so much that is not been answered and that I find myself looking for the answer.

However, God being as merciful as he is there has been several answers provided to some of my inner most delicate areas of my life.  I am so glad that he has provided me with those as I certainly was beginning to think that they would never come to pass and now they are in the here and now!  Sometimes I have to pinch myself just to ensure myself that I am not dreaming or living in another world of fantasy.  There are times when I burst into tears and most of those times is when God is speaking directly to my inner soul and revealing more and more of himself to me in a way that I never would imagine.  Now I am finding myself spending more time talking with Jesus and leaning upon him to reveal the answers to my heart and encourage me along the way!

God has certainly placed a great deal of responsibility upon men and especially those who are married or those who will be down the road!  Being the spiritual leader of your home and the teacher can be a daunting appointing and one that requires you to keep yourself in a state of learning and willingness to take less of yourself and more of God in control of your every action.

For those who have children this is especially critical as God holds you in complete accountability for the spiritual growth of your children. While I certainly have learned along my journey of life that you can't always control the choices your children will make as they grow into the adult world, however, you will have to account for the lack of wisdom that was failed to be instilled into their very life from you.  While I welcome this position it is one that carries a great deal of responsibility and one that requires you to be buried in the Bible daily to make sure you are falling into the guidelines that are in place for husbands and fathers.  Are you up to that challenge.  While I recognize that almost anyone can be a father it is an even greater level when you achieve the title of "Daddy".  Where do you stand?  Have you surrendered all of you and asked for more of God to take control of your life?  Believe me when you do and are willing to surrender it all then and only then will you begin to feel the divine blessings to be bestowed upon you.

While I am here on this topic let me proceed into one other area and that is one that has been weighing upon my heart for a while.  I have heard so many people say things like "I am doing what God wants and studying to find myself proved worthy of his love" and then they proceed to ask why God has not granted them all of the desires of their heart!  This is simple to answer....sometimes you just are not ready for those to be bestowed upon you and God is waiting until the perfect time to do so.  Keep in mind that God does not work on our time frame and sometimes we just have to sit back and wait patiently for God to deliver his promises to us.  It certainly is not because he feels we don't deserve it but just wanting to make sure we are in a greater level of growth to be able to handle it when he does deliver them and that they will not change our position in life and more importantly does not change our love for him other than to increase it.

As we start to climb the stairs that lead to heaven one thing is vitally important and that is that you take one step at a time.  Trying to skip steps will surely result in a fall and sometimes they hurt more than we really want for them too.



Sometimes you will run into a cloudy path along the way but just know that it does not last long and if you listen to the voice of God you will surely find your way.  How many times have we all fell off of the course God put us on to pursue our own selfish desires.  It is a wonderful thing to know that God always has his arms open and ready for us to come back home to him.

Where is the path you are taking in life leading you?  Is it the one that will ultimately please God and for him to look upon you with that awesome voice and tell you how proud of you he is?  Never fear my wonderful friends for even if you fall off of your course there is always help close by and help that knows where you have been and where you are headed and his name is Jesus.  Learn to call upon his name more and see the changes in your life to unfold before your very eyes.

Stop The Bus

Ok so the the virus bug has found its way into my body and is tearing me apart one string at a time.  I feel like I have been run over by a bus and then backed over again!  I have felt this coming on for a while and have done everything within my power to keep it back, however, it has finally made its way into my body and I am feeling every annoying aspect of it.  My head feels like it is ready to explode, my chest feels like it is ready to blow up and even the hair on my head hurts.  Talk about being in misery!

I think I would rather have someone just shoot me as opposed to have to deal with this garbage.  Well I have certainly laid claim to my healing and restoration to 100%.  However, I am not able to remember when it was that I felt this bad as the direct result of any viral infection.  I am going to have to keep on keeping on as I have several things that are in the works right now and I must stay on top of them.  While I have several readers of this blog site I would like each of you to lift up my wonderful friend, adopted dad and a great spiritual leader  up in prayer while he endures his medical issues.  I am not releasing his name to protect his identity and some other issues.  He is going to have a heart catheterizing done Friday and we are standing firm that the great healer and physician Jesus will intervene and to correct any possible abnormality that may be found and to correct it and to bring him back to 100%.

Some of my closest friends know that I have been fighting with what either is a possible sty or something else that is affecting my right eye.  Needless to say with the addition of this viral condition that has taken my body by storm is making my poor right eye feel as though it is dancing within my head and I personally think I would much rather have someone poke me in it as opposed to have to feel like this.

My wonderful friends have been providing me their gold bands to rub across it hoping that this will help to remove it but I have to wonder if there isn't something more going on inside the eye itself.  It is throbbing and feels worse than when I have been in a fight and someone hitting me in it.  If anyone has ideas or suggestions on this one, please feel free to comment here and leave me your ideas and thoughts.  I just know it has to stop!  To add to the complications of all the above my right ear has been plugged for nearly 3 months and I feel like I am trapped in a washing machine turned upside down.  If anyone has a gun just shoot me or if you have a baseball bat just thump me with it and I will recover from that point in time and thank you for doing so.

It is like my internal hard drive has failed and I now need to run the recovery disc to bring it back to life.  Ok, who took it from me?  Please return it to its rightful owner so I can place it into my expansion slot and start the process to restore and repair my internal hard drive.  I have a virus and must remove it before it finds my protected and cherished internal organs that are finally in recovery mode and begins to take a deeper hold on me.

Eeeek, I shall not let this happen! Have you ever felt so bad that you honestly wished you were dead?  Anyway, look I know I have a lot to live for and there are some awesome things going on in my life right now and believe me I am very grateful to be alive but just making that equation that many of us have endured when you are ill and feeling like someone threw you under the bus.  All I can say is "Stop The Bus".  Check with me later to see how I am feeling and what is going on directly in my life!  Peace and blessings to each of you!

Every Day, One Step Closer

Every day as I walk through life I am forced to examine my heart and soul and to make sure that I am striving to fall into line with what the Bible says in how we are to live from day to day!  While I think I have made some awesome advances in my life I, also, am convinced that there is an even greater journey and road that God is preparing to lead me down.  This has been revealed to me and with instructions to follow exactly.  While there is still so much that I do not know nor has it been completely revealed to me I am going to do whatever it takes to prepare my life for what God has in store for me.  One thing I have come to learn and that is when God tells you he has something big planned for your life, it would benefit you to begin to prepare and listen closely for further instructions and details.  While I know there is a vast amount more that has been shared with me directly I have been instructed not to allow this to be shared just as of yet as there will be an enormous amount of people involved and some which may not be prepared for what is coming as well as what will be the overall outcome.

I have known for years that I have been called into the ministry, however, as most who have the call upon their life usually end up turning and running in the exact opposite direction and at a rate of speed that is nearly double in which the call is approaching them.  I know there is a multitude of people amongst me who will be able to identify with me in that scenario.

However, as with most it is like God has gotten a hold of the leash and snapped it back and brought me to a sudden halt and making me realize that it is he who is in control of my life and that if I do not want to hang myself I must let him take control of the direction I am traveling.  While this at times has been more challenging to me than any other thing in my life it is proving to be one of the most rewarding.  Take time to evaluate your life and the direction you are headed in!  Is it one that you can honestly say that God would approve us and is it one that you are satisfied with yourself.  Some can easily say they are content in life when that is nothing more than a mere front and cover up for what is truly lying beneath the surface.

I have stopped on more than one occasion to determine exactly what it was that God was thinking when he pulled on my spiritual strings and called me to serve him in a way that certainly had me questioning him and I know that was wrong.  As most do who have a heavy call upon their life they tend to think "I am not worthy", "Isn't there someone else more qualified", "What was God thinking?" and a multitude of other attempts at finding an excuse as to why they should not move in the direction that God has called them to move in.  How many of you can relate to this?  Do you have the call of God upon your life and are you running in the opposite direction?  Believe me when I say it certainly is not uncommon and I above all people have a full understanding of why people struggle at this point in their life than quite possibly any other thing that make take place.  I do not think there is any one greater thing that takes place in a person's life than to be called into one aspect of a ministry or another.  Keep in mind that to be called into the ministry is not merely standing behind the pulpit or being an evangelist....there is a multitude of other areas that are need of people that have been baptized in the Spirit of God and who are willing to heed the call that is upon their life.

Trying to keep you life in accordance to what the Bible says can be extremely difficult at times and present a fair amount of challenges and circumstances that can be overwhelming at times, even for the most seasoned and well versed person in ministry.  The one thing to remember is that all of us have fallen short of the glory and the kingdom of God and must be quick to repent and ask for his divine mercy upon our lives and to make sure we protect our thoughts and keep our words and actions in strict accord to what God would find acceptable unto him.  I know that there are people and occasions that cause people to loose sight of this very thought and reeling yourself back in after slipping of the wayside can present some interesting challenges alone.  Once you come to terms with the level of ministry that God has called you to and begin to replace some loose areas in your life with positive exchanges and more of God and less of you then and only then will you begin to see and manifest the positive results that God desires for both your life and those you are to come into contact with.  While I had no intention of going into this direction when I set out writing this post, it was one that I prayed about and asked Jesus to be the conductor of my fingers and to let me, hopefully, be a blessing and an instrument for his edification and glory.

Why is this?  It is quite simple....once Satan realizes that you are a warrior in the creation for the Kingdom of God it is like all of the evil world is sent to kidnap you and to try to drag you into the very depths of Hell.  It is up to you to stand and protect you and your family by placing the whole armor of faith on yourself and those you love and around you.  Believe me people when I say that some of the things you may endure are not pleasant to say the least and the greater the call on your life the greater the level of attacks that you will be subjected to.  You can overcome these and emerge victorious in Christ's perfect name.  When you are called to the ministry the spiritual war will be on.  You can choose to be a warrior and emerge victorious or to allow yourself to be consumed with the world.

What you see in this photo is a mustard seed between someones fingers.  What I am making reference to is that in the Bible it proclaims that if anyone has faith even the size of a mustard seed that have the power and ability to move mountains and men.  Why is the so important you may be asking?  It is quite simplistic and that is that you have the authority of principalities and darkness and evil that tries to come against you.  It is up to you to put Satan back into his place and his band of demons and to proclaim your own victory in Jesus.  I ask for all who may read this to know that in what God is calling me into in the next phase of my life is by far one of the most challenging arenas and his commands that he has shared with me is overwhelming to say the very least.  I just know that in all of this I am going to trust for his divine guidance and assistance along the way.

Angels In Life

Have you taken time to consider if it is possible to have an Angel whom is responsible for watching over you?  Have you ever thought that it could be someone who actually is closer to you in your life than you have ever thought was possible.

What makes this thought even more intriguing is when you are in love with your Angel.  I know who mine is and has always been.  She has buried herself deep within my heart and will stay there till the day I die.  I long to be with her and hope that God will permit this as there has never been any human being who has been so tightly knit into the very fibers of my heart as this one special person.  She has more power of my life than other people have ever dreamed of having.  She has the one key that nobody has ever held and it is the golden key to my heart!  Why is it that God places these wonderful souls in our life?  Is it to bring us into a greater being, is it his perfect chosen one for us, is it his perfect will and desire for our life?  We could sit and entertain this question for answers and I suppose come of with some of the same answers.

However, for me I know who my Angel is and hopefully she knows exactly where she stands in my life!!  To be able to describe my love for her would be a timely process and one that would more than likely take more words than what I could readily pull from any resource such as a dictionary or other learning tool.  Her love is etched into my heart and soul and it is her love and her love only that comforts me in some of my times of greatest needs.

It is like I am walking through a forest where the light is peering through the trees but I know it is her loving spirit shining through that is guiding me through the path of life.

When I hear a bird whistle in the distance it is like her voice is trying to reach my soul and comfort me with her love and keep me on the path to seek her out and find her.  Is she ready to be loved more than like anything else she has ever experienced?  I can only hope so because that is my full intention to love her more than anything she has ever experienced and from anyone.  It is time for her in her life to be happy and I certainly want to be the one who makes it happen.  I am so looking for the day when I can feel my lips press against hers and to hold her close so she is able to feel the beat of my heart and to know she has finally found the one true love that she has been in search for.  She knows where she stands in my life as I have by no means kept this a secret but I still can't wait until she can feel this overtaking her heart and soul!  Sometimes we have to experience a significant amount of pain whether it be in relationships, our health and other forms in order for us to be able to find that one true love and to finally realize where our resting place is. I have found mind and it is in her arms......

Now it is your time to open up and let me fill you with a love that is overflowing!  You gotta know sweetheart that I love you more than the air that I breathe!  Can you feel it?  Can you sense it?  It is all here and it is all for you!

My Musical Beginning

For those who have known me for nearly all of my life will know that I have always enjoyed playing and listening to some of the best music that has come across the ears of musicians abroad!  From such greats as Led Zeppelin, Rush, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and many more.

It would take me nearly into my early teen years to begin to really tag down the direction of where my musical taste would take me.  I have always enjoyed the hard driving guitar sounds of such greats as Van Halen, Hendrix and others.  In the day of my growing into my musical taste, which was in the '70's, it would not take me long to have it all figured out!

Obviously with any up and coming musician there are the usual stumbles along the way and now that I have a flavor of sorts nailed out it is vital to be able to produce the quality sound that I am looking for and at the decibel that would nearly rattle the heaven's with a sound that would capture the attention of nearly everyone who would have the opportunity of hearing it!  I am almost sure that my first official concert was at my High School, Kenton Ridge High, and the name of the group that played there was Scram!  For some of you who may be on my Facebook page and are graduates from there may quite possibly remember what I am talking about.  In fact, I am almost sure that the concert was either the first year or second year that the school was open.  None the less it was on to bigger and better things for me.  Obviously, I was looking to create a new era of whaling guitar sounds along with the wonderful harmonics that I had heard from some of the greatest guitar players around the world!  

I was looking for my music to produce and take me into a new aura of sorts and that it did and so much more that came along with that period of time in my life!  Just as I was starting to break into my teen years and enjoying the whole musical revolution that was going on in my life, so came a whole birage of other items such as drugs and alcohol.  

I realize that this was quite common amongst many of my peers who were following along sort of the same path as myself.  Some of us just dove in quite a bit harder and had to learn about life the hard way!  I am convinced, though, that often times that is the best way to learn about it.  I realize after having children of my own that we often times try to prevent this but when you really stop to take a close hard look at it that was in fact the best way to learn about life.  No safety nets in place to break your fall and parents standing back seeing what was going to take place next without loosing their minds.  Does any of this sound familiar too you?  As my musical taste grew into something special unfortunately so did my tastes of drugs that were associated to that era in time.  I had started experimenting with barbiturates, opiates and just about anything I could swallow up or smoke up!  My life was in a whirl wind and a whole plethora of colors that were not blending to well.  Fortunately after several snags in life involving drugs and alcohol I was able to pull myself up and out of that muck and move on with my music.

I have to seriously equate my musical experience to that of a hydrogen collide r  in the fact that when two particles are smashed together it makes a unique blend of something wonderful.

So would it be for my music and the direction that it would take me.  After several years and many attempts to form groups that would pass with time as quick as the hands of the clock were moving I would look into a completely and different direction.  Rather than maintain my pursuit of music as a player I would now begin to form my own company and collection of equipment to produce complete stage shows from sounds, lighting and transportation.  Me already having a vast collection of expectations of what it should sound like from the audience perspective gave me a step up and would finally lead me into my destiny.  

Trying to reach the sounds that we wanted to achieve and produce certainly did not come cheap nor easy.  We had to start a capital investment company thanks in part to my parents in order to be able to fund what would turn into ten's of thousands of dollars in audio and production equipment.  Talk about making you sweat it out....imagine you are the pilot of a new company and are nearly $70,000 in debt starting out on equipment and venture capital.  It would not take us long to start to acquire several large shows and make a name for ourself in the audio and recording industry and soon all would be well with the direction we would be heading in.  Having been born and raised in Ohio it was not hard to find up and coming bands that were looking to make a unique name and branding for themselves.  

Trying to bring it all into the scope of things if you will takes more than just a keen ear and a couple pieces of equipment.  This was one of our first hired production specialists that would travel with us and start our venture of "Audio Venture, Inc".  We had done several hundred shows over the years and traveled with many well known bands and tours.  It was one of the most exciting times that I had ever experienced in my life!  

Of course with all things that rise quickly to the top they must all come tumbling down and tumble down they did and quick and hard!  Most generally in the music industry you experience a lot of life that is not experienced by a lot of others and party was the word of the day.  Obviously I had women galore and was all about enjoying each of them.  Finally, I would eventually marry and my first one was a train wreck from the word go.  I had married what I thought was my high school sweetheart only to realize that she was not the one who was the one I wanted to marry.  The one I wanted to marry went her own separate way and I would loose track of her up until the present time.  As my luck would have it she is now married and lives in Florida. I am blessed enough, though, to be able to have some contact with her and since we have found each other again to say it has been a blessing is such a major understatement.  

With the rise to the top I would eventually have to experience the fall of defeat when I allowed my drug usage to take control over my life and cost me my business and nearly everything I and my parents had to keep me out of trouble.  So the end of what could have been a multi-million dollar empire in the making was short lived and would dissolve into the great abyss of life.

So here we are now and realizing all the wonderful things that have happened to me throughout life and wondering what I can do to begin to reclaim them and put my life back on track of where I would like for it to be!  Obviously, to get myself back into the position that I once was will take a great deal of persistence as well as some venture capital from outside sources and when your credit has been destroyed by past mistakes this is by no means an easy undertaking.

However, I know who I am and where I came from and where I want to be and I will not stop at anything from allowing me to pursue my dreams and I will make them all come together again in the end of it all.  

Are you willing to help me and help what is going to be one of the greatest risings of music for your ears come back into existence?  Stand with us and let's work together to make it all happen.  This is a once in a lifetime chance and I encourage each of you with music in your heart to make it known that you will stand with us!