Thoughts, What Is Next

While there has been a vast of wonderful things that have taken place in my life over the past couple of months there are still things in the lingering and weigh heavily upon my mind!  While I have to keep these to myself those who know they relate to are kept in the need to know group!  I keep a lot of me guarded and often times I find myself holding onto my heart and guarding it to ensure it does not get hurt again!

This is one of the hardest parts for me to loosen up on as with anyone who has ever had their heart broken and put on a platter for everyone to view certainly will have a great compassion and understanding of.  I certainly do not want to come across as saying that I am not opening my heart up because that could not be further from the truth.  I just know what I have endured and where I have come from and want to ensure that I never find myself in that position again!  The next time that my lips produce the words "I Love You" will be with the one that I will spend the rest of my life with as I want the type of marriage that my parents shared prior to both of them passing and going to be with the Lord!  That is all I have ever wanted and more than that I want to share my life with someone who has their spiritual roots grounded and their eyes upon the Lord first then family second.

Often times I have been finding myself more and more turning to God for answers that I am not able to figure out.  At this point in my life you would certainly think that I would have that under control, however, it seems there is still so much that is not been answered and that I find myself looking for the answer.

However, God being as merciful as he is there has been several answers provided to some of my inner most delicate areas of my life.  I am so glad that he has provided me with those as I certainly was beginning to think that they would never come to pass and now they are in the here and now!  Sometimes I have to pinch myself just to ensure myself that I am not dreaming or living in another world of fantasy.  There are times when I burst into tears and most of those times is when God is speaking directly to my inner soul and revealing more and more of himself to me in a way that I never would imagine.  Now I am finding myself spending more time talking with Jesus and leaning upon him to reveal the answers to my heart and encourage me along the way!

God has certainly placed a great deal of responsibility upon men and especially those who are married or those who will be down the road!  Being the spiritual leader of your home and the teacher can be a daunting appointing and one that requires you to keep yourself in a state of learning and willingness to take less of yourself and more of God in control of your every action.

For those who have children this is especially critical as God holds you in complete accountability for the spiritual growth of your children. While I certainly have learned along my journey of life that you can't always control the choices your children will make as they grow into the adult world, however, you will have to account for the lack of wisdom that was failed to be instilled into their very life from you.  While I welcome this position it is one that carries a great deal of responsibility and one that requires you to be buried in the Bible daily to make sure you are falling into the guidelines that are in place for husbands and fathers.  Are you up to that challenge.  While I recognize that almost anyone can be a father it is an even greater level when you achieve the title of "Daddy".  Where do you stand?  Have you surrendered all of you and asked for more of God to take control of your life?  Believe me when you do and are willing to surrender it all then and only then will you begin to feel the divine blessings to be bestowed upon you.

While I am here on this topic let me proceed into one other area and that is one that has been weighing upon my heart for a while.  I have heard so many people say things like "I am doing what God wants and studying to find myself proved worthy of his love" and then they proceed to ask why God has not granted them all of the desires of their heart!  This is simple to answer....sometimes you just are not ready for those to be bestowed upon you and God is waiting until the perfect time to do so.  Keep in mind that God does not work on our time frame and sometimes we just have to sit back and wait patiently for God to deliver his promises to us.  It certainly is not because he feels we don't deserve it but just wanting to make sure we are in a greater level of growth to be able to handle it when he does deliver them and that they will not change our position in life and more importantly does not change our love for him other than to increase it.

As we start to climb the stairs that lead to heaven one thing is vitally important and that is that you take one step at a time.  Trying to skip steps will surely result in a fall and sometimes they hurt more than we really want for them too.



Sometimes you will run into a cloudy path along the way but just know that it does not last long and if you listen to the voice of God you will surely find your way.  How many times have we all fell off of the course God put us on to pursue our own selfish desires.  It is a wonderful thing to know that God always has his arms open and ready for us to come back home to him.

Where is the path you are taking in life leading you?  Is it the one that will ultimately please God and for him to look upon you with that awesome voice and tell you how proud of you he is?  Never fear my wonderful friends for even if you fall off of your course there is always help close by and help that knows where you have been and where you are headed and his name is Jesus.  Learn to call upon his name more and see the changes in your life to unfold before your very eyes.