When It's Time, Living By God's Standards

We live in a world and times that suggest that it is okay for our youth to begin to explore dating at a tender age and place a great deal of unnecessary burdens upon them.  Actually, what should be taking place is more parents standing up and talking with their children about what is appropriate and when it is appropriate and even more important is what is God's standards for both us and our children.  Having already walked this path myself many years ago and paying the consequences for my decisions and depriving myself of what could have been many wonderful opportunities back then is what brings me to writing this today.  I am a firm believer that if more and more of us as parents would take a stand with our children and discuss what it means to remain pure we would be able to, in fact, reduce the number of teen pregnancies and force shows such as "Teen Mom" from the network as there would not be a need for it.  However, me personally I do not see the need for it now as all it does is go to glamorize what is a growing issue and one that needs to be brought under control.

So many people I hear today always resort to saying how pleased they are that some public schools are addressing abstinence and encouraging it and that is all good and well.  However, what needs to be happening more is teaching Godly fundamentals and principles from the home and explaining the benefits to abstinence and choosing to lead a Christian life and a life that is led by the standards as outlined in the Bible.  Let's make sure that we understand that there is way more to being abstinent than just refraining from premarital sex!  Abstinence is a way of life and keeping a pure heart!  This, also, means that not only must you refrain from the sexual end of it you must, also, keep your thoughts pure and acceptable to what is holy unto God.  There is a song that brings a lot to the forefront and it is sung by Faith Hill "A Baby Changes Everything".  If you listen to it from a teen perspective you will understand that having a child at such an early age can and will forever change the direction of your life and strip you all hopes, dreams and aspirations you ever thought of having in life.

So, let's take a closer look at what the Bible has to say about dating and some questions that you should not only ask yourself but ask about the one you are wanting to date or are interested in.

God wants the best for us in every area of our lives. This includes relationships with boyfriends or girlfriends. We should date for fun, friendship, personality development and selection of a mate, not to be popular or for security. Don't allow peer pressure to force you into dating situations that are not appropriate. Realize that over 50% of girls and over 40% of guys never date in high school. The Bible gives us some very clear principles to guide us in making decisions about dating.  Before going any further in this topic I would, also, like to point out that the appropriate age to even think about dating is at the very least 16 years of age.  Any earlier than that and you are opening up yourself for heartaches that you are not remotely close to prepared for no matter what you may think or feel.  



Guard your heart

The Bible tells us to be very careful about giving our affections, because our heart influences everything else in our life.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23).

What could they possibly be speaking of here?  It is simple.  When you begin to date and your heart becomes full of a variety of mixed emotions you will find yourself being drawn away from what you should be spending time focusing on and making a priority in your life and that is to ensure that you are living your life in or as close to what the Bible illustrates for you!  Once you begin to take on the dating aspect in your life you will often loose focus of what should be first and foremost important in your life and that is keeping in tune with the Bible and to be committed to living your life in accordance with the Word of God.


You are known by the company you keep

We also tend to become like the company we keep. This principle is closely related to the first one and is just as important in friendships as in dating.

Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33).

If the people you are hanging out are not practicing Christians what do you think is going to happen to your faith?  Do you think that you will continue to be an example that is worthy unto God?  I am not suggesting not to have friends merely because they may not be Christians, however, I do caution you to watch the company you keep as this can and often times does lead others to place you into the same category no matter how you live.  There is a lot of truth in the bold portion "You are known by the company you keep".


Christians should only date other Christians.

Although it is fine for Christians to have non-Christian friends, those who are especially close to our heart should be mature believers who are seeking to follow Christ with their lives.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).




Is it really love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 defines real love. Ask yourself these questions:
Are you patient with each other?
Are you kind to each other?
Are you never envious of each other?
Do you never boast to or about each other?
Is your relationship characterized by humility?
Are you never rude to each other?
Are you not self-seeking?
Are you not easily angered with each other?
Do you keep no record of wrongs?
Are you truthful with each other?
Do you protect each other?
Do you trust each other?


This certainly is not a comprehensive list by any means but certainly is a good area to begin in.  Talk about some high standards these certainly are some.  Some may say that they are too tough or that you have to bend some rules in today's world.  That is exactly where so many people begin to take the wrong path and often one that leads to a life of destruction.  I have seen a lot of destruction among teens today and it breaks my heart wide open.  You have a lifetime to enjoy and explore love and what it truly means.  In my own opinion until you are fully engaged and can accept what it means to love Jesus and for him to love you back then you can and will never truly know the meaning of "true love".  Yes we all have had our bouts with "puppy love" and our first school crush and it certainly goes along with life.

God commands us to a higher standard and it is one that you must measure every part of your life by and young people this is up to and including dating.  While you are out ask yourself if your actions would be acceptable if Jesus were standing before you?  Do I need to say more?  Part of being successful in a dating relationship is knowing where the other person stands and supporting them in their stand.  It's already a tough world out there so let's not make it any tougher by jumping into an arena that many are not prepared for that are young teens!  Look to God for the answers and let him fill your heart with love!